Your Kids Deserve a Plan That Actually Works for Them
Custody disputes are emotionally intense — and the decisions made now will shape your children's lives for years. I help parents build parenting plans that protect their relationship with their kids, hold up in court, and avoid unnecessary conflict.
Serving San Diego County since 2012 • English & Spanish
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California courts divide custody into two types: legal custody (who makes decisions about the child's education, health, and welfare) and physical custody (where the child lives).
If You're in a Custody Dispute, You Already Know How High the Stakes Are
Most parents I work with aren't trying to "win." They just want to stay in their kids' lives — and they're terrified of getting it wrong.
You're not sure how California courts actually decide custody — and the other parent's attorney is already filing paperwork
You're worried that one bad decision now could cost you time with your children for years
You're trying to do right by your kids, but you're running out of patience and emotional bandwidth
You're not being unreasonable. Protecting your relationship with your children is worth fighting for — and it's worth doing right.
A Custody Attorney Who Understands What the Court Actually Looks For
I know how disorienting it feels to have the most important relationship in your life playing out in a legal process. My job is to cut through the noise, help you understand what matters, and build a strategy focused on your children's wellbeing — not just legal maneuvering.
I've handled custody cases ranging from straightforward parenting plan agreements to high-conflict disputes and international abduction matters. I've taught family law at California Western School of Law and serve as a County Hearing Officer — so I understand how judges evaluate custody decisions, not just how to argue in front of them.
Family law attorney since 2012
Adjunct Professor of Family Law — California Western School of Law
County Hearing Officer, County of San Diego
Experience with move-away cases, Hague Convention cases, and high-conflict disputes
We review your situation, your current custody arrangement (if any), and what you're trying to protect. I'll give you a clear picture of how California courts look at cases like yours.
Build a Strategy Around Your Children
Whether we're negotiating a parenting plan, modifying an existing order, or preparing for a contested hearing, I'll help you build a case that's grounded in what's best for your kids — and what's legally supportable.
Move Forward With a Plan That Holds Up
I'll guide you through every step — negotiations, filings, evidence gathering, mediation, or court — so you show up prepared and your children's future is protected.
No guessing. No empty promises. Just a clear strategy and someone who shows up prepared.
Both can be sole or joint. Joint legal custody — where both parents share decision-making — is common even when physical custody is primarily with one parent. Joint physical custody means the child spends significant time with both parents, though not necessarily equal time. The court's standard in custody decision is the best interest of the child. Factors include the child's age and health, each parent's history of caregiving, the child's relationship with each parent, stability of home environment, and — for older children — the child's own preference. California courts do not automatically favor mothers over fathers. What matters is the actual history of involvement in the lives of your children. If a father has been the primary caregiver, the court takes that seriously. Custody orders can be modified after the fact if there's a significant change in circumstances — such as a parent relocating, a change in work schedule, or concerns about the child's welfare.
Common situations
Parents separating or divorcing with children and no custody order in place
One parent wants to relocate — to another county, state, or country
Existing custody order is no longer working and needs modification
One parent is concerned about the child's safety or wellbeing with the other parent
The essentials
California divides custody into legal (decision-making) and physical (where the child lives)
Best interest of the child is the court's standard — not the parent's gender
Joint legal custody is common even when one parent has primary physical custody
Custody orders can be modified when circumstances significantly change
The best interest of the child standard isn't abstract — I help you build a factual record that reflects your role, your history, and your commitment to your kids. That's what moves cases.
I push for agreement where possible
Contested custody hearings are expensive, unpredictable, and hard on children. If there's a negotiated path to a parenting plan both parties can live with, I'll find it.
I've handled the complicated ones
Move-away cases, international custody disputes, high-conflict custody with restraining orders — I've been in those rooms and know how to navigate them.
I felt compelled to write this due to some if the begative reviews I saw. My experience wasn’t anything like those experiences. I’m not sure if he is as aggressive as some people may like, but I thought he handled the opposing counsel quite well when we convened before court. Ben is 100% honest and realistic. He’s not going to tell you what you want to hear, he’s going to tell you what the likely outcomes will be. Family court is complicated and even when you think you have compelling evidence, the judge may shrug and not care (that happened to me). After court, my ex vegan violating the order immediately. I contacted Been and his advice was to document everything and then contact him down the road because contacting him with every incident eats up your retainer. So, if you want someone to placate to you, go throw away your money with a different attorney. If you want someone that is level headed, offering honest advice and giving you realistic outcomes, contact Ben. Chris W.
ChrisChild Custody
5 out of 5 stars
Thank you Ben for everything, for me and my son. I just got custody of my son after spending over 13k on attorneys and other legal fees over 10 yrs of hard work sweat and tears. I’m grateful to have found Ben and to have him on my team. I would recommend Ben to my closest friends and family members, so if you are thinking about retaining Ben, don’t think twice! -Efrain
EfrainChild Custody
5 out of 5 stars
My ex and children live in California. but I live out of state and could not travel to San Diego for the various court hearings. Mr, Aguilar arranged for me to appear over the telephone every time the court needed me to appear. Mr.Aguilar kept me informed about the status of my case and promptly notified me of any developments. I saved a lot of money by not having to travel to California for the various hearings. I truly believe the outcome of my case would have been the same even if I were present for the court hearings. I learned to trust Mr. Aguilar during the divorce/custody process. Mr. Aguilar really made sure that my rights as a parent were preserved despite the fact that I live out of state.
JCChild Custody
5 out of 5 stars
Ben Aguilar is a talented, whip-smart, and thorough attorney. He is all business in his interactions but he was very thoughtful and sensitive about my situation as a divorced Dad with a child whom I miss dearly. He writes impeccable correspondence. He brought a strategy to the table but he didn’t impose it on me. He is not overly aggressive; he is sensible. It was obvious to me how much he is respected by the judges at Family Court in Vista. Ben was recommended to me by a supervisor who had interacted with him in court. She said he was among the best family court lawyers she’d worked with and that he was hard-working and affordable. He is all that and more. I recommend him 100%.
Reviews reflect individual client experiences. Prior results do not guarantee a similar outcome.
FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions About Child Custody
Does the court always give custody to the mother?
No. California courts don't favor either parent based on gender. What they look at is the history of caregiving — who has been the primary caregiver, who's been most involved in the child's day-to-day life. If the father has been more present, the court weighs that accordingly. The standard is the best interest of the child.
What's the difference between legal and physical custody?
Legal custody is about decision-making — who has the right to decide where your child goes to school, what medical care they receive, and how they're raised. Physical custody is about where your child lives. You can have joint legal custody while one parent has primary physical custody. Both arrangements are common.
Can I get 50/50 custody?
Possibly. Courts don't automatically award equal time — it depends on the facts, the parents' schedules, the child's needs, and the history of the relationship. I'll be honest with you about what's realistic in your specific situation.
What if my co-parent is trying to move away with our child?
A parent can't just relocate with a child without either the other parent's agreement or a court order. Move-away cases are some of the most complex in family law — I've successfully prevented relocations in cases where the move would have significantly impacted the other parent's time with their child.
Can I modify a custody order later?
Yes, if there's been a significant change in circumstances — a parent relocating, a change in the child's needs, a new safety concern, or a major shift in either parent's schedule. The bar for modification varies based on how long the order has been in place.
What if my co-parent isn't following the custody order?
That's a serious issue and there are legal remedies — including contempt of court. Document everything carefully and contact me. The faster you act, the better your position.
I'll give you a clear picture of what California courts look for, what your realistic options are, and what a strong parenting plan actually requires. No pressure — just straight answers.
